Memory
by DreamyLoner
Summary: "If a mortal is selfish, we don't blame him. A country can't be selfish when he has to take into account billions of lives aru." The blossoms last for seven days, so does the final memory Yao depends on. Angst-warning. Nichu(?) Iggychu/Rochu if you squint XD
"Where's China?"

They paid no heed to it at first. They would notice all the subtle changes in Yao's behaviours but then again they assumed the ancient nation had always been rather...bizarre.

He would get lost in the building where their conference was held. Once, he said he was going to the toilet and never returned an hour later. The Allies went looking for him and found him standing in the middle of a corridor on an absolutely wrong floor.

"China?" Arthur tapped his shoulder. The older nation turned around slowly.

"Yo dude, how the hell did you end up here?" Alfred asked, but never got a decent reply.

"This is the third time you wander off during the world meeting, da~" Ivan stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Yao only shrugged and tilted his head to the left. After what seemed like an eternity, he muttered, "I don't know…I forgot the way back to the conference room aru."

They all thought the age was getting to him. Or maybe the fatigue was doing the trick. The nation had been developing substantially in economy. It was normal to catch those dark circles surrounding his eyes or that exhausted, pallid face sometimes when they had meetings early in the morning.

As much as they wished to convince themselves that China's absentmindedness was due to his age, they knew well that it was impossible for someone to get lost several times in their own house. We're speaking of a conference held in Beijing. Not somewhere else. And it is China's own capital. His own house.

There was another time China forgot their meals. He had generously offered to make a lavish meal for every guest but he forgot all about it. When the other members of the world conference asked him cordially for something to eat because their stomachs were really growling, China merely shrugged. "Did I say that aru?"

They ended up in a restaurant down the street that day.

This wasn't the biggest issue they ever spotted. Nothing was an issue, to be frank. All those minor things China kept forgetting were so trivial that others wouldn't pay much attention to or wouldn't go serious enough to scold him for that. They had to respect the elder of course and appreciate his stamina till this day.

England would croak, because he was grumpy as always. America would comment a childish word or two, mostly to tease Yao about his age. Russia would always state the fact after Yao did something wrong. France was…well…being France.

"I'm truly sorry aru," China apologised with a deep bow. It was unusual to see him go that far with an apology, not since after he had blatantly claimed that food was more important than the meeting and that he had never felt ashamed of his cultural arrogance. But this time, he apologised because he was late to the meeting for two hours.

"What the hell, dude? It's way past our meeting! We're heading for lunch already!"

"Geez, do you love to sleep in that much?" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Yao-Yao, are you sure you're alright? This is the tenth time in the week you're late, to our meeting~ Do you hate to see us?"

"No." China shook his head. "It's not what you think. I just…well…I just forgot we had one today until Hong Kong reminded me and showed me the schedule book."

"You…forgot we had a meeting today?" Francis, for once, looked concerned.

"How many things do you have to keep forgetting, Yao?" Arthur sighed.

Yao didn't answer. True he had been forgetting a lot of things lately but never had he thought it would bother the others that much. There were times he had forgotten to turn off the stove and the house almost caught fire. Then, there were times he had forgotten to switch off all the electrical appliances when he headed out, when he went shopping down the town and forgot the way home and had to phone Hong Kong or Japan but again forgot their numbers. There was another time he forgot his siblings were visiting for a festive feast and when everyone arrived, he had prepared absolutely nothing and even exclaimed how unusual it was for them to drop by. They had all stared at him wide-eyed and jaw-dropped.

"Yao? Yao dude? You okay?" Alfred shook his shoulders. Yao snapped out of his trance. His eyes had lost their focus. They kept fluttering to nowhere in particular.

"Comrade, are you sick?"

He wasn't sick. It couldn't be. His economy was going well. His people were healthy and many were getting well-off. His government…well…same as always. Nothing peculiar was going on except his memory.

"Sorry…what were we talking about again?" He blinked, eyes full of innocence.

"I think you need to go see the doctor," Arthur pretty much summed up everything.

When they decided that, it was already three months and ten days after his symptoms first appeared.

"It's probably Alzheimer's disease."

"WHAT?" The countries yelped simultaneously when the doctor confirmed his diagnosis.

"He's old. It's not surprising."

"But…hold on a second, we know he's old but he's different," Arthur tried to counter. "He's a nation."

"Yes." The doctor nodded.

"Can nations catch Alzheimer's disease too?!" Alfred chided in.

"Probably."

"If I ever catch you lying, you'll be eating my pipe, da?" Ivan growled.

"Well, this is the only reasonable explanation I can give. If you don't believe me, I can't help it," the doctor insisted.

"So…he'll just…keep forgetting stuff?"

"Yes. He'll be losing short-term memory at first and then gradually…he'll be forgetting a lot of things."

"Oh, that means he'll forget my debts as well?" Alfred beamed. Arthur smacked him upside the head. "Ouch! I'm just joking, man!"

"How much time left?" Arthur asked.

"I can't predict that. After all, he's not a human."

"Any cure?"

"Again, not sure if human medication works on him or not-"

Ivan punched the doctor in the face.

"I'll be expecting concrete answers. If you can't cure our comrade, tell your family to collect your corpse."

"Ivan!"

The Allies gasped and dragged the Russian out of the office.

Yao was hospitalised. They visited him in the ward. When he saw them, he smiled.

"Oh hi aru! Thanks for coming! Oh wait, do we have a gathering today?" Yao mused, before sliding out of his bed mirthfully. "I must've forgotten about our date again! Silly me! I'll be going to the kitchen to cook! Wait-"

"Yao, sit back down." Arthur held him back by his arms and sat him down on the bed. "Get some sleep. We'll handle the rest."

"I don't want to sleep. I've been sleeping a lot lately…ah…when was the last time I slept…I forgot…but I keep dreaming stuff…stuff way from the past. It's so hard to wake up every time."

The Allies exchanged a glance with one another.

"It's like every time I sleep, I have a fear that I won't be able to wake up the next day!" The ancient country laughed.

"Yao, listen, since when have you started getting so tired?" Ivan cornered the smaller man and inquired.

"I don't know. I don't remember." Yao scratched his head and shrugged.

"This is more serious than I thought." Arthur whispered, frowning at the other two countries.

"Should we tell the others?" Francis asked.

"Definitely."

They told Yao's family, indeed. But news spread fast to the other countries. Everyone dropped by to see how it was going. To their astonishment, China had already forgotten some of the countries' names. Those whom he had had little interaction with were completely wiped off from his memory. It was no different than a chronic disease, spreading slowly all throughout his body, seeping into every single nerve of his.

The Asian family members now knew where all those incessant nagging and lectures had disappeared to. They thought they were finally getting a break from the elder by not hearing from him for months but when the news reached their ears, it still struck their heart with guilt.

"Aniki! You can't have possibly forgotten me, right?!" The hyperactive Korea barged into the ward. The first thing he did was tackle his brother into a bear hug.

"Of course I still remember you, Yong Soo." Yao only chuckled and surprisingly returned his hug. "It's so good to see you without demanding things from me aru."

The Korean withdrew from the hug in silence.

"Kiku! So nice to see you. And also Wan, Long and Chen. You see, I remember all your names clearly!" Yao clapped like a cherubic child seeing toys for the first time. "Why do you visit so suddenly? You never drop by out of the blue. I usually have to beg you to come and still none of you would answer my text, haha! You always turn off your phone or block me."

Yao giggled. Only stopped when he saw the others in tears.

"I'm sorry." His smile faded when Taiwan offered him a hug, which weighted more than the grand meal the Allies had just fed him.

"What's…wrong?" Yao asked, stroking the girl's back curiously. "Did someone bully you again?"

"Nii-san, let's go home, shall we?" Kiku smiled.

They brought him home, but Yao couldn't recognise his house anymore. He thought they were intruding someone else's threshold. They spent hours talking sense into him. Eventually, he agreed to stay.

It started out slow. The Asian members moved back in with Yao. Yao was merry, although he had forgotten that his siblings had once left him. He thought they had always been living together. In the beginning, he would forget a lot of daily stuff, like the times for three meals, how to take a bath, how to get dressed. As it progressed, he would forget the recent history. It was like playing a tape backwards. His memory kept reverting to the primary state. He would remember the wars and then forgot them. He had forgotten the enormous debts America was in; the cultural revolution in his own country; years of suffrage and starvation after Mao's introduction of extreme communism; the anguish he had undergone during Sino-Soviet split; the humiliations he had confronted in Boxer Rebellion and all the way back to Opium wars…

And then, one day, the Allies visited. He didn't recognise them anymore. He forgot America first, because he had been the youngest and the most recent one he met in the Allies. And then Canada. Gradually, he forgot France who assisted England in the second opium war. Later, he forgot England as well, even though they had had a fling in history. However short that was. It was devastating to Arthur. As for Ivan, he remembered briefly the times they spent comforting each other when they were still under Mongolian rule. Soon, nevertheless, the little chubby sunflower disappeared in his mind.

Blank.

Everything was blank.

"Hey China, I brought you some of our new movies! Maybe you'd like to watch them when you're bored." Alfred grinned widely but got no response from the older country.

"You look familiar. Have we met somewhere before?" Yao asked, reaching up to fondle his blond hair.

"He's America. Alfred. Remember?" Arthur said. Yao shook his head and stared at the British. "And you…are?"

"I'm Arthur. Arthur Kirkland. The representative of England. You know? We met in the 18th century."

"Really?" Yao blinked. "Your brows are really thick." He sneered and went on to pinch his brows. The British, for once, didn't protest and hugged the elder instead.

"And I'm big brother France, mon cher! You used to compliment my food too!" Francis said, holding two gigantic baskets of cuisines he brought from his homeland. Yao though was more interested in his hair than the food. "You have long hair like me!"

"Oui…" Francis smiled faintly.

No one could see through the tears in Ivan's eyes though.

"You're Ivan? Really? Ivan? You're so big! No way! I remember you being this tall." Yao stood up and gestured to his waist. "And then you always wept at night when Mongolia shouted at you! You planted so many sunflowers in his garden he got really angry, haha!"

"Da~" He took the ancient country into his embrace.

"You smell of vodka aru."

They were horrified by how fast Yao's condition was aggravating. By the end of the fourth month, his memory could contain no more than six names- Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau, South Korea and his own.

Nothing could be done to alleviate his rapid memory loss. No one dared imagine what it would be like without China in the world conference. The country was running well. But for some reason, Wang Yao the personification of the country was fading, slowly. The government couldn't do much. The doctors had no ideas how to cure him. Yao now slept more than twelve hours a day. As he had said, his dreams kept him asleep. The longer he slept, the harder he found to remember things. And he didn't wish to wake up either.

Once, he told the Allies that he dreamt of utopia and they were picnicking on the hill. He also dreamt of an alternate universe where all of them were just mortals but somehow they crossed one another's path in life. Yao would start babbling whenever he woke up from his long slumber. The first person he would cling to was his dear brother, Japan.

Kiku stayed with him all the time. Most of the other dreams Yao had stirred up fragmented memories from the past and they were always about him and Kiku. He remembered the day he found the child wandering aimlessly in the bamboo forest. He remembered how Kiku greeted him rudely but he still decided to take him in. He remembered how he taught the boy Chinese kanji characters but he ended up creating hiragana and katakana. He remembered how Kiku loved to deny that they were brothers and would hesitate so long to confirm their brotherhood. He remembered the night of his betrayal and the apology that came so many, many decades after. Most of all, he remembered, the endless nights they spent gazing at the same beautiful moon, wondering where their long immortality would end.

Kiku brought Yao to admire the cheery blossoms. The blossoms lasted for seven days. So did the final memory Yao depended on. They sat on a wooden bench, gazing up at the floating pink petals in the night sky. They could have formed a striking curtain or a carpet.

"Now, I only recognise you, Kiku." Yao smiled, not surprised that Kiku would be the last person to forget. He had forgotten Taiwan, South Korea, Macau and Hong Kong. It was down to Kiku now.

Kiku didn't respond. He kept staring at those dispersing cherry petals. He grabbed one and stuck it into Yao's hair. He looked stunning.

"It's funny how I've lived so long and only started forgetting everything now." Yao cackled. "I used to complain how history gave me burden but now I don't even have to recall anything. I can't even remember what I've done for the last few millenniums.

"You won't forget me, Yao-san," Kiku murmured and ogled the older nation.

"What if I do?"

"It doesn't matter because we'll all remember you. We'll keep reminding you until the day you remember every one of us."

"Maybe I will disappear." Yao pointed to the blossoms hanging on the trees and smiled. "Just like them. Disappear."

"No, you won't." Kiku shook his head firmly and clutched his brother's hand. "You won't."

"Can never be sure." Yao shrugged. "It doesn't change anything. The world will still have China, but there won't be any Wang Yao."

"Then it'll be a different world we're living in."

"They don't care."

"Everyone cares." Kiku frowned.

Yao craned his neck and laughed.

"I'll tell you a secret, Kiku, because you're my dearest brother." Yao chuckled and leant into the other boy's ear. "I don't have Alzheimer's disease. I only made a wish."

Kiku widened his eyes and stared at the ancient nation.

"One night, I stumbled upon Kirin in my backyard. I haven't seen him for quite a while. I was so exhausted that day. I prepared so many things for the feast but none of you turned up. He asked if I wanted something, if I wanted to make a wish. I remembered how you always complained about me nagging and controlling you all. I wonder if it made a difference if we weren't nations, or if I weren't a country to begin with. So I did make a wish. I asked to be a mortal."

Kiku gasped. Yao kept grinning. "Fascinating, isn't it?"

"You're joking?"

"I'm not."

"Is that a dream?"

"Maybe...I forgot, ha!"

"Yao-san, you couldn't just…couldn't just wish for that!"

"Of course I can. Someone will just take my place afterwards. I don't know. But before I become a mortal, I'll have to forget everything essentially about countries and history…right?"

"No…don't do that," Kiku argued. "You can't just leave us."

"Isn't this what you all want?" Yao's laughter rang in the air. It resembled a carefree child's happiness when he could finally grab the balloon and fly off to the sky. "I believe I'm the one keeping this family apart."

"No! That's not true! We don't hate you!" Kiku stood up rapidly and shook Yao's shoulders. "We just…well…we were just…"

"Avoiding me." Yao smiled and stroked the other's cheeks. "Well, you don't have to anymore because I'll excuse myself. Plus, this is my wish, Kiku. You should respect my choice. I mean, I've lived for more than four thousand years. I've seen so many things come and go. I've missed so many opportunities. I kind of…want to be free."

"That's a very, very selfish thought!"

"Aren't we all selfish…?"

Kiku hushed. Slowly, he sat back down next to Yao.

"If a mortal is selfish, we don't blame him. A country can't be selfish when he has to take into account billions of lives aru."

"Nii-san..." Kiku took a deep breath and sighed. "I just want to say that no matter what happens, you'll still be my brother."

"Yes aru." Yao nodded.

"Look Kiku! The moon!" Yao exclaimed and pointed at the moon hovering above all those blossoming cherries.

"It is very pretty indeed."

"The rabbit is making medicine aru."

"No, it is pounding mochi," Kiku corrected.

Yao stood still and glanced up at the sky. A petal landed on his forehead. He blinked.

"Nii-san…?"

He spun around and stared hollowly at the Japanese man.

"Who…are you?" Yao asked, cocking his brows.

"I'm your little brother, nii-san." Kiku merely smiled and took Yao's hand. "Let's go home."

The Chinese man didn't protest. Instead, he stared at Kiku in amusement, eventually letting him take his hand and lead him back into their house.

 _Even if you don't remember me, you're still my brother._


End file.
